first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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