So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
