I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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