I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
