I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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