After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
jump out the window naked night went bad
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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