After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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