He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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