I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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