Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
