It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
should my penis look like a turkey
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
