so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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