Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The air was thick with penises
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
