They should really pass out barf bags in church
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
should my penis look like a turkey
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize