he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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