margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
