Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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