oh god the rape fog is back!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
