I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You have to summon your inner elephant
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
