well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
