I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
