We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize