"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Mom said you looked used
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
