She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
