I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
