ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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