im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize