No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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