At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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