Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
