I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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