i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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