absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
