You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
