why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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