i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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