Do you still have your period?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
