Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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