what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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