I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You pole danced in your parka.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize