i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
