Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
