I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
