My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it hurts more in the daytime
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
