That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
