i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
