omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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