He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
