i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
