u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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