Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she told me i tasted like america
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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