Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
