Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
