It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
