soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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