she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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