I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
