i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
