Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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