why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
