adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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